I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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