Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
