at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
