just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Never let your siblings swipe right.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
