I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
