I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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