How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
