sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
