well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
