we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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