You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
