when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
