Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize