google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the condom got lost in my hair
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
is that a dick in a sweater?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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