I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize