The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I need a burrito and a hug.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize