Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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