That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
