well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize