nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
