and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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