wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
