If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize