I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
