what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
