make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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