I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
