Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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