So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
