I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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