i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
