I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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