i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You may now shotgun with the bride
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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