tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize