Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
