My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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