1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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