When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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