3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I am one with the molecules
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
