you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
