Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
