he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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