it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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