last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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