you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
