I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i just had sex bonerless
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
