So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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