Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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