in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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