I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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