every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize