I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
this is an emotional support booty call
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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