I love black thongs
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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