I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
