My hand turned me down
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
