sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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