I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize