nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
