he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
