Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
